TABASCO SPICY CHOCOLATE
Hoity toity, pig in a poity. Thassa one spicy meatball! Lady Legend gifted this tin of Tabasco “spicy chocolate” unto me for Christmas. Now, we’ve all heard of chocolate with chilli. Usually dark, usually pitched towards the gourmet end of cocoa solids. Usually a bit grim. We all like our chocolate sweet but do we like it spicy? Brain suggests not but we’re always game for a laugh. I’m not a deep fan of dark chocolate and the recent-ish tv driven upping of “cacao” content to the bitter reaches. Real chocolate is bitter they say, it shouldn’t be sweet, it shouldn’t be nice. That stuff you’re eating there is baby food, that dairy milk bar is for babies. Look at the cocoa content you sap! What a noob, what a bib. Look at my cacao nib fashioned hotel chocolat masterpiece, look at my black teeth, watch me grimace with each bite. Pleasure is pain. I’ll eat your common mars bar from my bed of nails, pass the smarties while I squeeze this lemon in my eye. Is it me or are they trying to preach cocoa content to the same extent that pork percentages were heralded years ago? 41% is your minimum pork content on a sausage and rightly so. If your sausage is knocking about the legal limits then it’s a bit Jimmy Grimble thinking about the eyes of newt and wings of bat that make up the rest of the piece. With chocolate though I’m not too arsed about what the non cocoa elements are…vegetable fats? Emulsifiers? Plain old sugar daddy? Can’t be bad can it. Sweet additions are always a less feared commodity than their savoury counterparts. I don’t know if there is a cocoa content legal minimum yet but it’s definitely coming.
Anyway, back to business. The cocoa content on this is 53% by the way. It comes in a razzy tin, we appreciate the design classicism of the Tabasco movement. We’ve got it on a t-shirt. We also appreciate the segmentation and shape of the chocolate wheel. Well played tabasco, this isn’t just a weak spin off. How spicy can chocolate be one might say, the answer in this instance is quite the bit! It’s a deep heat, it bores to the back of your throat. It’s fairly instant. Unpleasant without a drink for certain. It’s a conversation starter. My mum indulged at Christmas, she fared better with this than she did with wasabi peas but that’s not saying much. It’s not unlike dousing chocolate in hot sauce but the sauce is locked in, the sauce has become the solid. The sauce solid and the cocoa solid have forged an unlikely (ungodly) allegiance and the results are powerful. Is it unpleasant? No. Is it pleasant? No. Is it alright? Kind of. It’s not the kind of thing you enjoy, nor is it so intense that it’s a feat. Here, bolt this Bombay bad boy no hands! When does one eat it? Not in the morning that’s for sure. Lunch? Not really. It’s more of an after dinner piece. Maybe best when your mains has been a spice bomb. It’s a dinner party pleaser, it’s an edible trivial persuit wheel. It’s a chilli challenge. It’s a gift for all the hot sauce homies. It’s just a gift. It’s a presentation piece. It’s not bad but I shall not endorse repeat purchases. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. I’ll keep the tin, a souvenir from a serious cocoa solid. The packaging suggests fun and the content is above the legal minimum.
2 slats remain.
- foodlegend posted this